KellanStec

The bulk of yesterday was spent by me hating April Fools ‘ Day. I could hardly read the news on digg without suspecting every story to be a joke. I’m happy to say that I didn’t have any pranks pulled on me, and I didn’t pull any on anyone else. It continued like this until I turned on the television to watch Adult Swim, like I do every Sunday.

A few weeks ago, Adult Swim began running television advertisements for the television premiere of their new movie (!), Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. Why? “Because we’re fucking crazy,” they say. The internet schedule verified this; a two-hour block was reserved for the premiere.

Well, the date was April 1st. I knew this had to be a prank. But, they did it. I turned on the TV and there it was: the entire movie was playing. It was in the bottom left corner of the screen and the size of a postage stamp. It has no sound over the normal programming.

I start giggling. Then an enormous advertisement slides in to inform me that I am watching the new movie. It covers nearly half the screen. By this point I’ve lost it. Adult Swim made April Fools ‘ Day worth it.

Last year, Adult Swim aired anime with engrish subtitles and inserted fart noises randomly. But nothing tops this prank. They advertised for it, and they actually did it. It’s way too damn small to see, but they really did air the movie. Absolutely hilarious.

After they did that, I was hoping the awful Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job episode that aired on the Fix last Friday was a prank. It wasn’t. That was the worst episode ever. Maybe that was the joke.

Yes, I know it’s Monday. Yesterday was the debut of a Dutch gym’s invitation to exercise in the nude. About a dozen middle-aged to elderly men showed up for the event of the hundred who signed up. The Netherlands are known for their comfortable standards on nether regions (get it?), but this may be a bit too much. I really hope they have rules about cleaning the exercise equipment that contact the more sickening body parts, such as exercise bikes.

Nude exercisers were required to put towels down on weight machines, use disposable seat covers while riding bikes and disinfect the equipment.

Thank FSM. I am glad to see a towel underneath the biker on the right.

Aside from the palpable hygiene concerns, we can see how hilarious this truly is. All we have to do is read a few of the nudist’s quotes, and ensue in laughter. “There are things that you like to do, and for a nudist, it just feels better to do them with your clothes off,” said Ron, who drove for more than an hour to bike naked. “You feel more free.” I wonder if he drove to the gym while naked.

While we are talking about naked people–or at least people exposing parts of their body which society deems indecent–I should mention the mother and daughter who were apparently* banned from Disneyland for life. You might not want to click if your boss/souse/parent doesn’t like you looking at bare breasts, less the nipple of course. Yes, I know I posted a picture of two naked men above, but you took that risk visiting my site. I’m unpredictable. Anyway, what they did was have a shirt with holes from which their breasts “peek”. Then they used the exposed breast as the flesh part of Mickey and Minnie’s face, adding eyes, nose, and mouth.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I think using a pair of human breasts to create the likeness of Mickey and Minnie mouse is creative. And also pretty damn sexy. But much too sexy for the fragile little minds that wander Disneyland! These kids are walking around all day looking for a Disney character to grab or get their picture taken with. And these women are trying to scar them for life. If the shitty music being played all day doesn’t give the kid brain damage, a partial human breast surely will. I wonder how many kids actually realized that these weren’t mice, but actual breasts. My guess is not too many, but I guess it’s just another example of adults reading too much into what children are thinking.

*As I was doing some browsing for more information, I noticed a larger image. That isn’t Disneyland, that’s Bourbon Street–Mardi Gras. Well, that takes out all the fun. Don’t read the last three sentences if you’d like to still think the picture was taken at Disneyland.